In February 2025, Suzanne Reitmeier found herself being heckled off the podium at her San Marcos school district board meeting. Her crime? Defending her 12-year-old daughter Claire,* whose public school refused to support her after a male student began changing in the girls’ bathroom.
“I found out at the beginning of the last school year that there was a boy who had started transitioning,” Reitmeier told IW Features.
“Honestly, I don’t care if he wants to wear a dress,” she added, noting she considers herself a “non-confrontational” person. “But getting undressed in front of my daughter? That really bothers me.”
In her address to the school board, Reitmeier revealed that Claire and her classmates did “not feel safe” and sought out lockers far away from the male student so that he “couldn’t watch them undress.”
“When my daughter brought this to my attention, I was in shock,” she said.
The problem started at the beginning of the 2024-2025 school year when Claire was placed into the same physical education (PE) class as the male student. When Reitmeier discovered he was using the girls’ locker room after PE, she immediately contacted the school. The administration, however, told her there was nothing they could do because of state laws enforcing gender ideology, and that her only option was to have Claire change by herself in the health office.
“I didn’t want to segregate my daughter,” Reitmeier said. “She was so excited about her little mirror and her deodorant that we picked out, and I hated being like, ‘No, I’m going to take this away from you.’”
According to Reitmeier, Claire is an outlier in that she told her parents about the situation – other female students were seemingly too embarrassed or uncomfortable to share what was going on.
Claire, however, was taught to listen to her gut from a young age, Reitmeier said. But the state’s stance on allowing children to use opposite-sex bathrooms is trampling all over girls’ inborn instinct to recognize threats and protect themselves.
“They are telling our children it’s okay to undress with a boy, and they are muddying that instinct,” she said. “I think it’s totally perverted.”
California’s laws on “gender identity” are some of the most permissive in the country, allowing anyone to self-identify as the opposite sex and access women and girls’ most private spaces. Despite concerns from parents such as Reitmeier, the state has continued to double down on their erasure of female-only spaces, with the state legislature blocking a vote last week on a bill that would have ensured sex–specific sports and locker rooms.
Despite the girls’ initial reticence to speak up, Reitmeier said it wasn’t long before more parents found out about the situation. Once they did, many of them fully supported her speaking out –– despite their progressive leanings.
“Even if they didn’t vote for [President Donald] Trump, they fully get behind girls and boys not changing together,” she said. “Just because we don’t want our daughters undressing with the opposite sex doesn’t make us anti-trans or anti-anything.”
School administrators, however, did not seem to share parents’ concerns. When she brought the issue to their attention, Reitmeier said she was told, “The kids change really quick, and only to their underwear.”
“I responded, would you want to change with another administrator just to underwear? Because I wouldn’t feel comfortable with that,” she said.
When Reitmeier heard about the “Safe Spaces for All” board meeting her San Marcos school was planning to hold in February 2025, she knew she needed to share her story. The school board was debating Resolution 38, which would affirm transgender-identifying students’ right to access any space in the school, including opposite-sex bathrooms and locker rooms. No one, Reitmeier noticed, was planning to speak on behalf of biological female students’ right to “safe spaces” –– so she decided to be their voice.
“Safe spaces for all need to be safe spaces for biological women, too,” Reitmeier told the school board before being cut off by trans activists.
“After I spoke at the board meeting, I can’t tell you the flooding of messages I received. My husband was called by people he hadn’t talked to since high school saying ‘We’re so proud of your wife,’” she said. “I didn’t even know what I was getting myself into. I just wanted to say, ‘This is wrong.’”
Reitmeier’s fight is far from over. Despite the protests of parents and students, three out of five school board members voted in favor of the resolution to reaffirm boys’ ability to access girls’ spaces, she said.
But more and more California parents are taking a stand against misguided policies that threaten the safety and dignity of their daughters. Despite activists’ attempts to silence them, parents – and the brave female students making their voices heard – aren’t going anywhere.
*Name changed.
